Colin’s story
Two years ago, I was attacked walking home from my mate’s house. I was physically and sexually assaulted in the park near where I lived. It was dark, so I didn’t see my attacker’s face. It all happened so quickly.
I was too embarrassed to tell my family the whole truth. I didn’t want anyone at school knowing what had happened – that a boy had done this to me. I gave a statement to the police about being beaten up, but they never found my attacker.
Silence
For a whole year I kept the fact that I was raped to myself. I wanted to forget it ever happened. I never imagined anything like this could happen to me. I was really confident in school. I had loads of mates and played rugby for my school. I thought I was pretty tough.
After the attack, I started having problems at school. I stopped caring about school work and missed loads of lessons. I was getting really angry. I wanted teachers to know why I wasn’t coping at school. I wanted my mum and dad to know why I was so moody at home.
I needed to talk to someone who didn’t know me but understood what I was going through. I found the number for my local rape support centre on the Rape Crisis website. This was the start of a massive change for me.
Getting support
The woman on the phone took some details from me and made sure I was safe. She explained I’d be meeting the children & young persons Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA).
The ISVA called me before we met to introduce herself, which made me less nervous. She explained that the first meeting was to find out how she could support me best and talk through my options.
I got so nervous the day before the meeting that I ended up telling my mum what had happened. Mum was so upset that I’d kept it to myself for so long, but she was really supportive and came with me to meet my ISVA.
My ISVA talked me through all the different options available and made me feel in control over what I wanted to happen. I didn’t want to go through another police investigation. I just wanted to be able to move on.
My ISVA helped me to make an anonymous report to the police. I gave information on where and when the attack happened without leaving my name. That way I was able to provide the police with as much information as I knew without having to go through another investigation.
Moving on
The biggest thing for me was that I got the support I needed at college. My teachers know what happened and I’ll be able to re-sit the exams I missed last year.
I’ve also started counselling at the rape support centre, which has helped me to slowly come to terms with what happened and understand the emotions I’ve experienced since the attack.
I’m still working on being confident walking outside again. But after opening up and getting support, I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. I’m looking forward to going to university and hopefully playing rugby there.
Thanks so much to Colin for sharing his story. And thanks to the Rape and Sexual Support Centre for their support. Visit our useful contacts page to find contact info for RASASC and other support services.