Lucky me?!

Our website is packed with info about healthy relationships. But how can we tell if we’ve found the perfect partner? Does the perfect partner even exist? What should we look for? How do we know if our expectations are realistic?  

Lucky me?!

If you’ve found yourself thinking “lucky me” when it comes to your partner, ask yourself if they feel the same. In healthy relationships, you add something special to each other’s lives. You might feel lucky to have each other.  

Do you feel lucky to have your partner by your side? Does your partner feel lucky to have YOU? Maybe your partner makes you feel like you aren’t good enough for them? Or perhaps there’s a part of you that wonders if you deserve to be treated better? Why is that? Think about what’s making you feel that way.

Are you a priority?

Does your partner put you first? Making plans in advance and sticking to them are signs of a healthy relationship. But if your partner always cancels on you, goes off radar for ages, takes days to answer one text message or you generally feel like an afterthought, your instinct might be telling you something’s not quite right. Your partner should want to spend time with you, not just hook up with you last minute because they feel nagged.

Have they got your back?

A good partner will support you. From complimenting your outfits, to supporting you achieve your dreams, they should make you feel good for being you. Is it really worth staying with a partner who constantly criticises you or laughs at you with their friends?

Do they have a selfish attitude towards sex?

If you’re not ready to have sex, your partner should respect that without it affecting your relationship. They shouldn’t be rushing you or putting pressure on you to do something you’re not comfortable with. If you’re having sex, are you both taking proper precautions to be safe? And is your partner respecting how you feel?

Do their eyes wander?

When it comes to checking out other people, it’s up to you what you’re comfortable with. If the way your partner looks at other people makes you feel uncomfortable or they make comments or comparisons that knock your confidence, you don’t have to stay in the relationship. And if you can’t have an open discussion about this kind of behaviour without it becoming an argument, perhaps it’s time to move on.

Do they ‘need more time’?

You might spend time just the two of you getting to know each other in the early days, but if your partner is reluctant to introduce you to their friends and family and be open about your relationship with their loved ones, they might not see the relationship as a long-term thing. If you’re active on social media and they’re keeping you or the relationship hidden – or if you get a general feeling that the relationship is one-sided ­– could they be keeping their options open?

Are they generous?

A partner who is generous – not treating you on dates or buying you gifts, but generous with their time and support – is often the sign of a decent partner. But sometimes partners can be too generous with their time and support, which can be unhealthy. If you feel like you’re being slotted into your partner’s life when it’s convenient FOR THEM or that your time together is dominated by their problems and dramas and you don’t get chance to talk about your own issues, maybe it’s time to end things?

Every relationship is different, so trust your gut – if your instinct is telling you something feels wrong, it probably is. Think about the way your partner makes you feel. Break ups can be really tough. But you can leave a relationship at any time. For any reason. You don’t have to keep going round in circles trying to justify your decision or trying to make it work if you want to move on.